Sunday, 25 September 2011

The Fat Me

I answered a section in my Mind Over Fatter journal last night on The Fat Me - its quite thought provoking.  I'v been reading what I wrote over and over today and trying to decide if  The Fat Me is this way and feels this way, why I dont want to part with her.  I tried not to overthink the question before I wrote down the answers and just wrote what came into my head at that moment.

Personality : The Fat Me is jovial - the clown.  The Fat Me doesn't mince words and says exactly what she thinks, perhaps sometimes hurting people in the process.  She is positive and enthusiastic, bossy and quite demanding.  She likes things done her way.  Although she will listen to what others have to say, she is quite headstrong and doesn't usually back down from her point of view.  She is a fierce fighter for what she believes in.  Although she has a touch exterior, she is easily hurt but usually hides it under the 'happy face' and doesnt show that she has been hurt.  She loves a good laugh.  She loves deeply.  She is committed but easily bored.  She has high ideals and work ethic.  Her job is who she is as a person.  Do it perfectly or dont do it at all, is her motto.

How does The Fat Me move?  The Fat Me walks with difficulty.  Her feet hurt constantly.  She has dropped arches and finding nice shoes is a huge problem so she usually just wears what is comfortable and hopes that people wont look at her feet too much.  She feels like a great big elephant when she walks and feels that people look at her in a negative way.

What body parts does The Fat Me dislike?  The Fat Me hates her double chin most of all.  Every time she looks in the mirror, that is the first thing that she sees.  She hates her tummy almost as much.  Her round fat tummy that looks like a basin of well risen bread dough.  Her bum looks like two basins of well risen bread dough.  She thinks that her arms look like two Christmas hams.

What body part does The Fat Me like?  She doesn't like any body part.  She thinks that her eyes are pretty.

What does The Fat Me wear?  The Fat Me wears comfortable clothes rather than fashionable clothes.  She doesn't like big loose things, rather fitted but not too tight.  She wears understated clothes.  Things that don't call much attention to her.

How does The Fat Me feel.  The Fat Me hates her body. She doesn't look at herself naked for too long or in any great detail - a quick glance in the mirror is the most she will give herself. She tries to look at herself but can't.  She finds the image too unpleasant.  She doesn't know how anyone could love this body or want to touch it.  She feel panicky that she might get bigger if she looses control and gives in to her urges to eat.  She thinks of her weight virtually every minute of the day and it overshadows both good times and bad. She is her weight.

What can't The Fat Me Do?  The Fat Me can't walk far, she can't run.  Exercising is uncomfortable and quite unpleasant.  It is difficult to sit down on the floor and to get up.  She gets out of breath easily when walking.

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